It Has To Be a Lie
by ToriTC198
Summary: My version of how Stiles reacted to Derek's, "death,"in 3x06 and who Derek actually should have gone to.


_AN: Quick one-shot because I feel like it. I know that there are other fics already that have Stiles' reaction to Derek's "death" but I wanted to weigh in on it myself._

* * *

It Has To Be a Lie

The first time it had happened Stiles and Scott were standing outside the school after trying to summon the alpha. A stupid idea really. Not one of their finer moments. Then there had been claws and blood and Derek's body being thrown through the air and collapsing on the ground. Stiles had felt nothing but fear for his own life and a mild shock at watching someone die in front of him. When he had found out Derek was alive he had felt a small amount of relief but mostly just guilt for accusing the guy of murder.

This time is different. This time it opened a gaping wound in his chest. Isaac was standing on his doorstep at 11 at night. "Stiles, the Alpha Pack got Derek. I'm sorry."

The words rang through his head drilling a hole through any logical brain function. He staggered back as if Isaac had physically hit him. A look of concern crossed Isaac's face and he reached out to try to steady Stiles. "Hey, are you okay? I didn't think you even really liked the guy."

"Yeah." Stiles gasped out. "I couldn't stand him. I'm just surprised." Stiles knew that he was lying through his teeth and a part of him knew that Isaac could hear the lie in his heartbeat but he didn't care. Isaac is kind enough not to mention it. Instead he just pulled Stiles in for a quick hug and then apologized for having to get back to Scott.

Two hours later Stiles still hasn't moved from the couch that he had collapsed on after Isaac left. His head is in his hands and his mind is flashing between denial and numbness. He feels hollow and raw on the inside and he feels so much like he's ripping in half that he almost feels the need to physically hold himself together to prevent his organs falling out. He knows though that it's all just feelings not an actual would. He's felt this before many years ago when the death of his mother almost destroyed him.

'It can't be true.' Stiles tells himself. 'After all, Derek has survived way more in the past than he ever should have. He'll bounce back from this just like he did last time they thought he was dead.'

For a moment Stiles burns with anger towards Isaac because the only logical answer is that Isaac is playing a cruel joke on him. Derek isn't dead. He's probably at home glaring moodily at something like always. He isn't dead or even wounded.

The moment passes quickly as the truth sets in. Isaac isn't the kind of person to play a joke like this.

Stiles feels his anger shift towards Derek. What the hell had he been thinking going into such a dangerous situation? Why hadn't he fought harder to live? There is also anger at himself. Why had he never told Derek how he felt? Why had he always assumed there would be more time?

More time. The thought appeals to Stiles. What wouldn't he give for more time with Derek? Just one last moment to say goodbye. He hadn't even gotten that. Stiles tried to think of the last time he had seen Derek. He was pretty sure it involved glaring and possibly bodily harm. Stiles would have given anything to be able to redo their last moments together. Or to have been there when Derek died so that Derek would know he wasn't alone.

Stiles felt the unbearable weight of sadness pressing on him as he realized that he would never see Derek again. He would never get to see the elusive smile that Derek tried to hide. He would never again stand in Derek's loft and make plans to counter the newest threat to the pack. Because of course, there would never be a new threat to Derek again. He was gone.

Stiles felt a hysterical sob trying to break out of his throat and he smashed it viciously back down. His dad was at work but he felt like the sound threatening to come out of him would be loud enough for the sheriff to hear even across town. The last thing Stiles wanted was for his dad to come barging in on his grief. Stiles couldn't change what had happened and he wasn't sure he would ever fully recover but right now in this moment he just needed to let the feelings of sorrow flood through him without anyone disturbing him.

It was then that someone disturbed him. A quiet knock at the front door shook Stiles from his thoughts and he gazed blearily at the entrance. It was comforting to know that Isaac had been worried enough about him to return. Stiles kept staring at the door until the knock came again. Still quiet but a little bit more insistent this time. Stiles realized belatedly that perhaps Isaac wanted to be let in. When his body finally caught up with his mind, Stiles got to his feet. His muscles hurt from sitting in the same hunched position for hours and he moved stiffly to the door.

The knock came a third time right as Stiles reached for the handle. He opened the door slowly and noted vaguely that there was blood on his porch. It wasn't very nice of Isaac to bleed on his porch. Then it his Stiles that Isaac hadn't been bleeding when Stiles saw him. He dragged his eyes up off the ground and slowly traced up the very familiar yet broken looking body of Derek Hale.

"Are you going to let me in or just keep blocking the door?" Derek still had a surprising amount of sarcasm in his voice despite the pain he was clearly in.

Stiles wordlessly moved to the side to let Derek past and his eyes never left the werewolf's face. Stiles pinched his arm trying to decide if he hallucinating or seeing an actual ghost. He wasn't sure which would be worse.

"Stiles. Shut the damn door." Derek called from the couch Stiles had only recently vacated.

Feeling like he was functioning on autopilot, Stiles did as he was told and then followed Derek's trail of blood drops to the living room. Stiles was going to need to clean those up before his dad got home. Unless they were a hallucination of course.

"Derek." Stiles breathed the name reverently. He wanted to reach out to the bruised and battered man in front of him but he was afraid if he did his hand would go right through him.

Derek looked at him in confusion, finally noting the dead look in his eyes and the way his entire body looked weighed down. "What is wrong with you?" He asked. "You're acting weirder than normal."

Hearing the slight concern that Derek was hiding in his voice was what broke Stiles. He couldn't hold it back anymore. He slumped to the floor and finally let that hysterical sob out. It was followed by another and another until his whole body was shaking and Stiles couldn't even see through his tears.

Despite his injuries, Derek was sitting up instantly reaching awkwardly out to Stiles. It was clear that he had no idea what was going on or how to deal with a sobbing teenager. Stiles shied away from his touch and through his sobs Derek could hear, "Please don't. Don't touch me. I don't want to find out you're not real. Can't I just pretend for a little longer that you're not dead?"

Understanding dawned on Derek and he struggled off the couch to kneel down next to Stiles. "Stiles I am real." He tried to assure the boy. "I'm here and I'm real and I'm sorry I made you and the pack think I had died. I thought they would realize I was alive when they didn't find my body." Before he could talk himself out of the show of emotion, Derek wrapped strong arms around the trembling teen.

Stiles stiffened in his arms for a second as he waited for the illusion to shatter. Then he pulled back in shock. His mouth hung open and his face was still covered in tears but he ignored them. There was a tiny bit of hope in the deadness of his eyes not. He looked Derek in the face and slowly, cautiously, lifted his hand to touch Derek's cheek. When his hand made contact with something solid Stiles felt all the tension leave his body at once.

"I thought you were…"

"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't realize the pack would jump to that conclusion."

"Derek, don't ever do that to me again. I felt like my life had ended too."

Confusion made its way across Derek's face again as he processed what Stiles had said. It went away fairly quickly though. It's hard to still be confused when there is suddenly a pair of lips brushing across your own. At that point it was pretty clear what Stiles had meant. Derek found himself briefly returning the kiss before pulling away and saying, "As much as this is something I've wanted for a long time, I would like to perhaps save it for a time when I'm not bleeding onto your living room floor."

Stiles felt his eyes widen slightly as he remembered the condition Derek was in. "Yeah. Sorry. My bad. Come on, I've got some first aid stuff upstairs." Stiles stood up and reached a hand down to Derek. He couldn't help the smile that crossed his face when Derek took his hand and accepted his help getting off the floor. Stiles also couldn't help the blush when Derek didn't let go of his hand even after he had gotten up.

* * *

_AN: Well there is my quick version of how I wanted things to go down when Derek, "died". Hope you liked it._


End file.
